Some things in life don't always go the way they should. Marriages should be for a lifetime. Parents should love their children. Children should love and learn from their parents. Unfortunately things don't always go according to plan. The Bible even makes a statement about this:

Marriage should be a lifetime. Why is divorce permitted? Sometimes people are toxic together and things just don't work out the way they should.

Now for a husband or wife stuck in a toxic relationship I asked ChatGPT for the shortest version of what they should do. The answer was exactly what I thought it should be.

Simple to say but hard to do as the lives are deeply intertwined in emotions, families, finances and more.

But here is the next question: What happens when the toxic relationship is between child and parent. A child can't simply "leave" their parents. Now having said that some children DO indeed try to leave their parents and runaway. The consequences are usually dire for the child. Without money, without resources, without real life experience and without the ability to find work and earn money children are at an incredible disadvantage. Now, I tried running away myself when I was 5. I don't know WHY I tried but I remember being upset and walking away from home. Pretty silly because the nearest settlement was 25km away and my little legs wouldn't have gotten me very far plus once there what would I do?

Even my son wanted to run away from home once when he was angry about something or other that we have both forgotten. However, in both cases we returned home. My father came to get me and take me home. Decades later I followed my son and brought him home when he cooled down.

But what if either of us had succeeded

OR

Now I haven't had much experience with child and protective services in my province. However, I had one friend whose wife was not well suited to be a mother. She had enough difficulty caring for herself and caring for a child? That was just too much for her. In the end her home was deemed unsuitable for the child and he was taken away. In another case there is a lady who came by our pharmacy caring for her grand daughter. Her daughter couldn't look after the child so protective services put the child into the grandmother's custody. Finally my niece works with troubled youth. Children as they aren't over 18 yet, but unable or unwilling to return to their home, so she makes sure they have their daily needs met.

In that regard I'm going to look at three situations where I think that the government should step in to look after those who can't yet look after themselves.

Unfortunately some mothers are hooked on drugs. It could be cigarettes, alcohol, or any number of more potent drugs. Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS) is real. Babies born addicted to drugs to mother who were using during pregnancy. The babies need intense care for weeks to months and suffer severe withdrawal that can, in severe cases, kill.

As awful as that is mothers who use alcohol which is often thought of as a "Lesser Drug" can suffer even worse. Sure they are less likely to come out screaming and sick but over time? They will always be at a cognitive disadvantage typically for the rest of their lives. A life which is in a tough situation before it even begins.

In those situations nurses and doctors keep an eye on those they deem to be at risk and child services comes in. The goal is to protect the child and help them survive and thrive even when put in a tough situation. To advocate for the child when no-one else can. Of course, in a perfect world the mother (and father) would get off drugs, turn their life around, and be a model parents. That certainly isn't the reality in many situations. Sometimes grandparents or other relatives are called in to become a caregiver. Sometimes foster homes are the solution. However, it is never an easy situation for anyone involved.

In some cases the children start off right. Loving parents and healthy home. Unfortunately things don't always go according to plan in a house. Financial troubles, marriage troubles or abuse, substance abuse, or worse can make a home go from safe and loving to toxic. Where does a child turn to when the home is no longer a safe place to be?

Again the answer is child protective services. When I was young I remember the ads for children to call "Zenith 1234" to get help. Today the number may have changed but there is still help available if a child needs it and wants to help out. However it is just not children who can call. If someone who knows the child is in danger be it a doctor, teacher, or even a pharmacist...we can reach out to the government to look in to the child's welfare. After that things can be done to help the child and hopefully the family.

But lets not kid ourselves. Sometimes children can be toxic to parents. Now younger children aren't bad but teenagers? Teenagers can be awful. I know my son's were very hard to live with as teens. There were many dark days for both parents and teens a few years back. The house seemed to be burning down somedays and often I didn't know how I was going to survive the evening. I prayed and I got lucky--I survived.

But what if things got worse? What if my teenagers ran away from home or I was simply unable to cope. Guess what. That's where protective services comes in again. Sometimes they provide family support. Sometimes they remove the teen from the house to give them a new family to live with. Sometimes they give the teen a house to live in and food to eat so they can become adults on their own. Each case is different but it is nice to know that our society gives at least a basic safety net to families and children when things break down.

But social workers and child welfare workers aren't perfect....they are just people. Indeed my niece works with at risk youth and it can be challenging. Some of her kids have fetal alcohol syndrome and simply don't comprehend proper social behavior and actions that keep them from harm. She has to bail them out of jail on occasion. Help them out of totally avoidable problems sometimes. Generally try to keep them from harm when they are actively living a dangerous lifestyle. To make matters worse she has many kids and not enough support so she can simply get overwhelmed sometimes.

Then there is the fact that some people can put on a good act or make things look good for the short term. If a family thinks they are going to lose their child they can clean up the house quickly. They can put on a good face for the short term. In short they can fool the child services worker into thinking that everything is fine and the problem is blown out of proportion. Or the opposite can happen. The worker comes when the family is having a bad day and the child is removed from a family that is still a viable living situation.

In the end I'm glad to know that there is a safety net for children. I'm glad that there are people out there who are trying to care for those who can't speak for themselves. Of course they aren't perfect. Of course sometimes things go awry. Of course sometimes there are regrettable outcomes.

Child protective services, in my mind, is a "concession to humans hard hearts". In a perfect world they would never be needed. But do we live in a perfect world? Now, imagine if there was no one to give voice to those stuck in toxic relationships. Imagine the outcomes then.

Of course this is just my personal take on things. As always I love getting comments.