not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•974 days agogenius> Perhaps, if I am very lucky, the feeble efforts of my lifetime will someday be noticed, and maybe, in some small way, they will be acknowledged as the greates...2$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•974 days agogenius> Perhaps, if I am very lucky, the feeble efforts of my lifetime will someday be noticed, and maybe, in some small way, they will be acknowledged as the greates...2$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•974 days agowhere> Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because where does he think he’s going?! > - Jack Handey. D...0$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•974 days agowhere> Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because where does he think he’s going?! > - Jack Handey. D...0$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•974 days agogetting> If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that’s what He’s getting! > - Jack Handey. Deep Thoughts, 1992 [[ 🇱...0$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•974 days agogetting> If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that’s what He’s getting! > - Jack Handey. Deep Thoughts, 1992 [[ 🇱...0$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•974 days agoimpressions> Instead of having “answers” on a math test, they should just call them “impressions,” and if you got a different “impression,” so what, can’t we all be brothe...0$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•974 days agoimpressions> Instead of having “answers” on a math test, they should just call them “impressions,” and if you got a different “impression,” so what, can’t we all be brothe...0$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•974 days agodive> What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we’ll never know. > - Jack Handey. Deep Thoughts, 1992 [[ 🇱...0$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•974 days agodive> What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we’ll never know. > - Jack Handey. Deep Thoughts, 1992 [[ 🇱...0$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•974 days agomovie> I think a good way to get into a movie is to show up where they’re making the movie, then stick a big cactus plant onto your buttocks and start yowling and ru...0$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•974 days agomovie> I think a good way to get into a movie is to show up where they’re making the movie, then stick a big cactus plant onto your buttocks and start yowling and ru...0$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•974 days agosize> I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas. > -...1$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•974 days agosize> I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas. > -...1$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•974 days agorabbit> It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran away like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was running to go fight in another fight, a...0$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•974 days agorabbit> It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran away like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was running to go fight in another fight, a...0$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•974 days agoweeding> If you ever go temporarily insane, don’t shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you’d really be surprised. > ...0$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•974 days agoweeding> If you ever go temporarily insane, don’t shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you’d really be surprised. > ...0$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•974 days agostraddle> Here’s a good joke to do during an earthquake: straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opens wider, go “Whoa! Whoa!” and flail your arms around, like yo...0$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•974 days agostraddle> Here’s a good joke to do during an earthquake: straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opens wider, go “Whoa! Whoa!” and flail your arms around, like yo...0$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•974 days agoforgive> If you’re a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your act, I don’t think it’s a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people se...10$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•974 days agoforgive> If you’re a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your act, I don’t think it’s a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people se...10$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•974 days agocheese> I can see why it would be prohibited to throw most things off the top of the Empire State Building, but what’s wrong with little bits of cheese? They probably...0$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•974 days agocheese> I can see why it would be prohibited to throw most things off the top of the Empire State Building, but what’s wrong with little bits of cheese? They probably...0$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•974 days agoride> If you ever discover that what you’re seeing is a play within a play, just slow down, take a deep breath and hold on for the ride of your life. > - Jack Hande...0$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•974 days agoride> If you ever discover that what you’re seeing is a play within a play, just slow down, take a deep breath and hold on for the ride of your life. > - Jack Hande...0$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•974 days agosupper> Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, “Aw, who cares?” And then I think, “Hey, what’s for supper?” > - Jack Handey. Deep Thou...0$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•974 days agosupper> Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, “Aw, who cares?” And then I think, “Hey, what’s for supper?” > - Jack Handey. Deep Thou...0$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•975 days agowarlike> I hope in the future Americans are thought of as warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools would pick “Americans” as their mascot. > - Jack...0$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•975 days agowarlike> I hope in the future Americans are thought of as warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools would pick “Americans” as their mascot. > - Jack...0$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•975 days agowish> When I think back on all the blessings I have been given in my life, I can’t think of a single one, unless you count that rattlesnake that granted me all thos...0$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•975 days agowish> When I think back on all the blessings I have been given in my life, I can’t think of a single one, unless you count that rattlesnake that granted me all thos...0$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•975 days agosolder> If I lived back in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I’d carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said some...0$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•975 days agosolder> If I lived back in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I’d carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said some...0$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•975 days agopreen> People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is the preening. > - Jack Handey. Deep Thoughts, 199...0$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•975 days agopreen> People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is the preening. > - Jack Handey. Deep Thoughts, 199...0$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•975 days agofireworks> If you had a school for professional fireworks people, I don’t think you could cover fuses in just one class. It’s just too rich a subject. > - Jack Handey. D...0$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•975 days agofireworks> If you had a school for professional fireworks people, I don’t think you could cover fuses in just one class. It’s just too rich a subject. > - Jack Handey. D...0$0.00
not.jack(25)•in #hive-148441•975 days agoscare> It’s not good to let any kid near a container that has a skull and crossbones on it, because there might be a skeleton costume inside and the kid could put it...0$0.00not.jack(25)•in hive-148441•975 days agoscare> It’s not good to let any kid near a container that has a skull and crossbones on it, because there might be a skeleton costume inside and the kid could put it...0$0.00
