Charity they say begin at home and there’s no denying that. Right from birth, we learn first hand from our homes and where we grew up taking our first steps. And most at times our words and actions tend to reflect how we were brought up.
There’s a common saying that says spare the rod and spoil the child and trust me, African parents didn’t take this saying lightly. If you’re African you probably know what I’m talking about. I grew up seeing parents discipline their children in different ways. Some would beat their kids with canes, spatula and what have you. Then we have the almighty slippers which is a major characteristic of African moms.😂 If your African mom hasn’t used a slipper on you then we need to check where’s she’s from.😂 Just kidding.
Discipline comes in different forms and kids have different personalities and what moves them or get to them. The way you will discipline one kid isn’t the way you will discipline another because they are all different in their own ways. If I can remember correctly, about ten years ago, the major punishment for kids was canning them both in school and at home but today , a lot has changed . Canes are no more used in schools and in our various homes, parents have transitioned to using different methods to discipline their kids.
Growing up, I wouldn’t say I was really caned aside when I was in school which I couldn’t do away with. At home, my parents didn’t inflict pain on us by using canes. Communication was key at home but obviously, it didn’t always work so other measures had to be used sometimes. For my mom, just a bombastic side eye from her would do the deal. You wouldn’t even dare try it again because you wouldn’t want to test her. My mom was more of the kind of parent who would talk once and when you don’t listen, she would make you learn the hard way. For example, there was this one time I decided to get into a fight with someone older than me which my mom advised me against. She sat down and watched me get beaten and watched me cry. That was the last time I fought with a grown up.😂
As for my dad, it was more of the silent treatment method. If there’s one thing that kills me to the core, it’s silent treatment. My dad is a very lovely character who barely gets mad. He’s always fun to be with but one thing he hates is having to continuously repeat himself on the same issue over and over again. Once my dad goes mute in the house, everyone automatically feels uneasy because bro, the silence is loud and you wouldn’t even be able to approach him.😂
Funny enough, this method of disciplining my siblings and I worked magic on us. If one parent gets mad and decides to discipline us, we would now turn to the other to talk on our behalf because you wouldn’t want your parents being mad at you. If you asked me, I’d prefer being beaten to this method of discipline from my parents, especially the silent treatment from my dad. It just kills me.
I don’t have kids yet but when it comes to my siblings, I might have somehow also adopted the silent treatment method of disciplining them. If I talk once, twice and it’s the same result, I just keep quiet and watch what they would do next. Sometimes not having someone complain or tell you not to do this even tells you what you’re doing is wrong. That’s how you get to them.
Hopefully, when I get my own kids, I’d be able to find different ways to discipline them based on their individual personalities.
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