mushroomjesus

Just Apologize

“God, would you stop looking at me like I’m a pubic hair on your bar of soap?” she cried, daggers shooting. “I can’t believe the stuff you say, sometimes. Can’t...

True Love

A poem for the ladies I'm about to date this week, I'm a romantic bloke. You’re out there somewhere. So sweet at first, concealing your crazy side. Your nuanced...

Escaping the Snake

When lava creeps around you on the Big Island of Hawaii... enjoy and aloha! With explosions in the not-so-far distance, a streaming orange mass of molten rock c...

Conquest Diverted

Here's a comedic satire which touches on the difference between matters of the body and matters heart when it aches for another. “Just lower your standards,” Cu...

Opiates vs. Jesus

In 2005, when I woke up paralyzed on Oahu, they had me doped up on opiates, and asked, "So, for long term pain management, would you like morphine, oxycontin, o...

Satircal Ammendment

If every American had their own nuclear weapon, just a little pack for home protection, no one would have to worry about crime anymore. Our founding fathers cou...

Jesus Goes to Jail: Leap of Faith (Part 5/9)

Jesus is locked in a cell with an enormous cell mate, but he's a gentle giant and relays a story which seems too fantastical to be anything but fiction. But was...

Jesus Goes to Jail: The Bribe (Part 4/9)

After arresting Jesus for a dine and dash, the Spokane Police department wanted the truth. You said no strings could secure you at the station. --Eric Clapton P...

Jesus Goes To Jail: Who Are You? (Part 3/9)

When your dinner host splits without paying for the bill, and you're penniless... Enjoy Steemians! Aloha from the Big Island, and check part 1 & 2 for continuit...

Syren's Advice

Presenting a 3 page science fiction short about what not to do on a date. Enjoy, and aloha from the Big Island. Love you Steemians! “Hi.” “Hi.” “How are you doi...

Jesus Goes to Jail: Free Lunch (Part 2/9)

There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch. --Walter Morrow Part 2 Free Lunch “What are my options?” I asked. “I’m sure it’s all good, but I just want to make su...

Jesus Goes To Jail: Room with a View (Part 1/9)

Part one is a thirteen pager, mostly dialogue that took place in the Spokane County jail, where I was housed for being Jesus. And saying as much, but we'll get ...

Drones at Dusk

Presenting a scifi 9 pager I concocted after being followed by a drone. It was hovering above me as I handcycled up my neighborhood’s main avenue. It felt invas...

Prayer Hands

Arriving at the threshhold of human potential, living with one's consciousness attuned to Source, is all rather simple. First, you must stay away from meat eate...

Super Ultra Inspiration

A moment to fanboy, I must pass this on. Out of sheer admiration. In October 2017, Courtney Dauwalter ran an ultra marathon, a 238 mile race through the Moab De...

Please allow me to introduce myself...

Aloha fellow Steemians! A little about me, I'm on the Big Island of Hawaii, paralyzed from the waist down after falling out of a coconut tree in 2005. I might b...

Of Nooses & Necklaces

A satirical short fiction based off of friends in my quirky little community. I'm so thankful to have Steemit as an outlet, and thank you for reading. Enjoy, an...