The good lady hefted the little boom into the mad hippy sling thing we have and waved over her shoulder.
See you in an hour, Daddy, Enjoy your me time!
I watched them go with a smile and waved from the door till they were out of sight. Once they were, I slammed the door shut and locked it.
Woot woot!
I shouted, clapping my hands together.
I was a little hungover and to have been given an unexpected hour of child and good lady freedom during the day was a huge bonus. What was I to do with myself? I wandered into the living room. Perhaps I should catch up on some episodes of Preacher? Maybe boot up the Xbox and get some Fallout on the go?
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and gave my reflection a flirty wink.
Handsome bastard.
I whispered.
I walloped some coffee on and pulled my Chromebook out. A little Steeming perhaps before deciding to do anything. As I opened the Chromebook it's battery indicator flashed red at me.
Bollocks. Where was the charger? Damn, I remembered, the good lady had taken it up to the attic which she had been using as a study lately. She had started her Doula training and had been spending some time up there doing research. I headed up the stairs.
Our attic has been split into two little rooms, one a study and one a little bedroom for guests. The study door was closed.
That struck me as a little odd. We never close the study because of the cats. I like to give them free reign everywhere. I rested my hand on the handle and pushed the door open.
The door creaked and opened up onto the dim interior of the attic. The good lady has been moving stuff about and the desk sat in the middle of the room illuminated by a shaft of weak light from the small window.
On the desk lay a thick A4 sized notebook. I had never seen it before, From where I stood I could see swirls and patterns and some big red writing on the cover. I was intrigued. I moved closer.
The house was eerily quiet, the attic room even more so. I shivered slightly. Was it cold up here?
Get a hold of yourself man.
I admonished myself loudly as I stepped up to the desk.
I gazed at the notepad before me. It was a journal by the looks of it. Of course, the good lady had told me she was starting a journal of her Doula nonsense. It was a part of the training. I read the cover.
Was emblazoned in red wax among strange whorls and ridged daubs of something that was hopefully paint.
What the fuck was this? I shivered again, damn, those words gave me the chills. I wondered, should I open it and have a peek at what she had been writing? I knew I shouldn't but I couldn't resist. I reached out a hand and touched the cover.
I'm sorry. I could not find the information you were looking for.
Boomed a loud female voice from the corner of the room.
YAAAIIEEEEK!
I screeched and jumped back a couple of paces. My heart thundered in my chest and my ears, BOOM BOOM, BOOM BOOM. I looked over in the corner in time to see the Amazon Echo's lights wink out.
It was only Alexa. Fuckity baws, I had near shat myself with fright. Bloody Alexa, always going off on one when her name was not even spoken. The good lady was talking about getting smart lights. Well, fuck that. That's two-thirds of the way to SkyNet and I am not having it.
Calming myself I stepped forward and again reached for her Doula journal, the brown and ochre swirls on the cover drawing my eyes in a strangely hypnotic way.
There was a creak on the stairs below.
I froze. I knew that creak. Something was coming up the stairs. I turned round in slow motion, my heart once again pounding at a rate of knots. A voice in my head was gibbering Please don't be a witch or a monster or a monstery witch.
Something moved in the shadows near the door. I took a deep intake of breath.
My cat, Shady, padded into view. She sat and looked at me, her amber eyes stark against her inky black fur.
Oh Jeebus Shady. You gave me a fright!!
I gave a nervous laugh which echoed in the small space. Bloody hell, talk about spooking yourself. I had goosebumps on my arms and everything. I turned back to the Journal.
Right you, you are getting read.
I picked it up. The cover oddly warm in my hand. I opened it at the first page. There was something glued to the first page. It looked like tree bark?
Downstairs I heard the door unlock and the noise of the good lady returning.
Oh, shitty baws!!!
I slammed the book down and ran downstairs. As I neared the bottom I saw the good lady come in and look up at me.
Had to come home, Little boom puked all over everything. We are soaked in it... Daddy? Are you ok? You look really pale?
I'm ok lass, just got a fright hearing the door. But it's you!
I gave my best everything is ok, I wasn't masturbating grin.
She stared at me quizzically and tilted her head to one side.
Where were you upstairs? Were you in the attic?
I gulped.
No lass?
She looked at me for slightly longer than a real human should and moved off into the living room. I heaved a big sigh of relief. My legs felt wobbly.
Oh my flippety jings.
I thought, as my testicles made an involuntary skooking noise like cotton wool rubbed between fingers.
Witchery!