As I surveyed the devastation of wrapping paper and plastic stuff that littered our living room floor I let out a contented sigh.
In front of me was my little pile of presents. No Gibson guitar. No electric drum kit. No Japanese steel blades with which to terrorise the neighborhood.
Daddy, we need more batteries!?
Squawked one of my brood as they pawed at some glittering plastic thing from China.
I smiled at the rank consumerism on display and pulled out a bag of rechargeable batteries from behind me.
I'll never see these again.
I thought, as they were torn from my hands to be placed in all manner of shite.
You having a good day, Daddy-Bear?
The Good Lady asked as she swished about doing stuff.
Aye, I think I am.
And I wasn't even lying for once.
Merry Christmas ya big bunch of Hivey bastarts!!