hyperbole

Earth and lightbulbs

Sometimes I like to just let my brain be. Instead of all the nonsense that usually fills it, or any of that intelligent, productive thinking others so seem to e...

Floury words

When flowery words start to fail you, try some floury words instead. Speak of bread in its rich simplicity, speak of cookies and cakes and the rest. Speak of ba...

Good days, bad days, and lying to myself

On my good days I wonder what I can do for the world, for people around me, and in general for those in need. I usually don’t get much past the wondering stage,...

What's wrong with fairy tale beginnings?

Once upon a time, though I don’t really understand how something can be upon a time, or that what follows only happened once- actually, I'm not really sure what...

I'm ... Confused

Yesterday a friend asked me to take the enneagram test, and down the rabbit hole I went. Me being who I am, I immediately started looking into personality tests...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Sorry 'bout that. I started typing a post, a fun little writing exercise. Got about halfway through, my com...

Obsessions

Alright, so… food? Always food. I just don’t understand why people think I’m obsessed, I just think about food pretty much… constantly. Alright, fine, maybe I a...

Talking walls

The boy turned and stared at the wall. And the wall stared back. And spoke. ”What are you staring at?” The boy was shocked. “What in the living @$%?” ”Actuallyt...

Peanut Butter - Part 2

It seems I’ve finally been corrupted. I generally don’t like to do serials, mostly to avoid the word – we try not to associate with such thigs, it makes people ...

closed eyes

I close my eyes, then open them again. Now why on earth did I do that? Why, exactly, was I closing my eyes like that? It feels sorta pointless, especially since...

Foggy windows

I sat up, blinked, wiped my eyes. Glanced at the window... what the? Why is it so unclear? I want to be able to see outside. Beep. Beep. Beep. I quickly get up,...

Monologue, Dialogue

I was thinking to myself the other day (obviously, who else would I think to? One of those other idiots out there? Please. (We'll ignore the implications that I...

Peanut Butter

The room seemed dark, uninviting. Twelve figures sat around a table, each somehow shaded from the light, and each somehow more imposing than the last. The newes...

Bad things and other various goings on in the asylum I like to call "my mind" because some idiot decided it was a good idea to nominate me for Comedy Open Mic Round # 39 (2 idiots actually)even though I already played so I figured I'd drag this title out

Don’t you just love it when bad things happen? No, not to you, to other people! … What? You expected me to provide an example? That would be a nice thing to do,...

Druid Bunny

This is David. Was David. Will be David. Whatever, he gets confused about the tenses. They're a bit too tense for him. David! That was a terrible pun! As you ma...

Weird dimensions

Have you ever turned to yourself and said... One moment. How exactly are you supposed to turn to yourself? I feel like that would require some serious dimension...

Writing, walls, cases

I want to write, but if I want to get this right, I think I have to read the writing on the wall. I think there’s a joke in there somewhere, I just have to inte...

Rite

I'm surprised really. No, more than surprised, I'm shocked. Why… Why? Why did you do it, how did you do it, what did you even do? I've been wondering that for a...

Cartoons physics, Godly faces

The other day I turned to John and asked him "John? Do you know that you don't exist?" He was quite shocked to hear it. "What- What do you mean I don't exist? D...

Meanderings

When you look into the great beyond, you'll find that it stares back, that you gaze on naught but yourself. How? Why? Who? When? Should I use all those other on...