The whore-son

2025-05-18T00:35:03
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"I think you need one," the guy said with an smug expression that seemed to say, I just had sex with the 21 year old Monica Bellucci. (I've wished that more than once myself.)
I was less confident, it was $550 Australian dollars after all, and my current set-up was working fine. Why spend money I didn't have to?
"I'd love one man, but have to justify the spend; I can see the benefits, the time saving and cool-factor, but it's a wad of cash when the system I already have does pretty much the same job." I thought my explanation was reasonable and thinking sound.
The guy managed to look like I'd just told him his mother was a whore I'd fucked in my teens and knocked up and I was his real dad, then said, "but it's not MORRFlate mate, and that means it's not as good quality. You look like a guy who likes his stuff and when in the field wants the best knowing how catastrophic failures can be."


Damn, my whore-son this sales guy was good; playing on my like my equipment/be self-reliant/buy quality ethos he'd obviously picked up throughout the conversation. Fuck it, I knew where this would lead.
I think he saw my capitulation right then, his expression resembled the one that big dragon, Smaug from LOTR, had every time he settled upon his mountain of gold under the mountain called Erebor. The cunt had me!
"Well, my ARB set up is a good one, the compressor and all, but for sure the hoses kink and that drives me fucken nuts." I had to give some ground up, he'd pushed forward and was in sight of victory. His smug Smaug expression deepened and I reckon he was already thinking about his commission payment.
"I can certainly see the benefits and understand the product is good, maybe I'll go get a burger, have a think and go from there." I just needed some time to think and there was no point doing it in front of this Smaug-guy.
Besides, I was hungry.

But what the fuck am I even talking about?

Ok, so I was at a recent 4x4 show full of cool shit I had to restrain myself from buying and I came across a multi-tyre air inflation device that I really fucken wanted. It's called MORRflate and comes out of the USA. (I'd seen it around and was there to check it out in person.)
Because I off-road a lot I have to let my tyres down (called airing down) for a larger footprint on the tracks and better traction. It also reduces the chance of staking (punctures) because less air means there's more give in the tread and sidewall. Anyway, what goes down has to come up to then drive off on the blacktop otherwise one will shred the tyres so I have an air compressor on board and a single air line I use to inflate each tyre, one by one. It works.
The MORRflate system attaches to all four tyres at once though and, with the Air Hub, means I can set the exact pressure I want (I use 40psi on the blacktop) and the compressor will inflate all four tyres simultaneously and stop at that set pressure. Cool right?
Of course, the same system works in reverse so I can set the deflation pressure and it'll drop all four tyres to that set pressure and stop. I go from 40psi to 28 as soon as I turn off the blacktop onto gravel or dirt and from there it could be 22, 20, 18, 15 and I've gone as low as 12psi at times depending on needs, terrain and conditions. Having the multi-tyre system would make things easier.
It's a pile of cash considering I have a system to do it but I figured it couldn't hurt to look.

Back to the story

He agreed with my logic with a nod and I think he knew I was sold on it.
"Listen, I know you work for [insert my company name here] and that's cool, we do a lot of work with them as you know. What I'll do is give you our staff discount, $480 instead of $550, and I'll ship it to your door for nothing. Deal?" He put his Smaug-hand out, and old sales trick because few would leave a hand hanging in the air without shaking it. Damn it, I was sold. (I mean, yay in reality, I am pleased with my purchase.)
"Fuck it, deal! I need my burger though so I'll be back."

My MORRflate arrived five days later (they were waiting on the hose kits to come in) and it's sitting here in my office as I speak. I've opened up the Air Hub box but haven't had the time to try the system out yet. When I do I'll grab some shots and do a bit of a review on its operation and effectiveness.
The guy I was talking to is the owner of the company which is the Australian/Adelaide distributor of the product and was a top bloke (not a whore-son at all) who I know through the company I work for and he made the purchase easy...and a no-brainer. I'm looking forward to trying it out and am going to pick up some of the other products they represent like their tyre plug and patch kits for when punctures occur in the field.


Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
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Image(s) in this post are my own
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