Growing older, I have come to understand that one constant we can’t do away with in life are people. It’s never about what we have or what we do; it’s always about who we have. And the kind of life we live is partly dependent on the people around us.
As a minimalist who enjoys peace of mind in her life, I sure apply minimalism in my relationships. I do this by being very selective with how I invest my resources-my time, energy and emotions in the people around me. And this intentionality is inspired by the kind of relationships I want; nourishing and supportive.
I always invest my resources according to the kind of energy people exude. I don’t tolerate negativity in any form, whether as a joke or not. This isn’t just something I came up with from nowhere, it’s a lesson I learned from experiences. I remember how an old friend of mine reached out to me about an issue and from the very onset, she was so pessimistic.
I understood that the situation might have sent her into that mental space and I was ready to help her- after all, we are all we have as humans. But even after my willingness to help her out of the situation, she wasn’t mentally ready to cross that bridge. She just wanted to wallow in her misfortune and rant all the time. And it became very exhausting being there for her as she kept trying to pull me into that dark place she was. So I just had to withdraw myself.
There was another incident where a cousin of mine who was in trouble ended up being the one to encourage me to keep believing that she would be fine. So I took time to be there for her and about a week later, she actually was fine. Unlike my old friend, being around my cousin brought me so much joy and calmness even in that chaotic situation because of the kind of positive energy she always had. And by the time everything was over, I must say my optimism nature about certain things in life even blossomed.
Through experiences like this, I’ve come to learn about being mindful of the energy I allow in my life. And most importantly, knowing when and who to be present for and when to be unavailable and very inaccessible. Because, in as much as I may want to help the people around me, I’ve come to realize I could end up being in a darker place than they are, depending on how emotionally involved I become.
For me, applying minimalism in my relationships really is about being selective with the people you keep around and intentional with how you invest your time, energy and emotions into the people who truly add value to your life. This has helped me cultivate beautiful relationships that have been very impactful in my life.
