You don't need me

I have been longing for Saturday to come, it has been a difficult week. A lot to do, back and forth, always busy, always active, due to a situation that worries me a lot and also occupies me a lot.

I feel exhausted, I admit it. I would like to take a break on a beach and walk lightly, without tension, knowing that everyone I care about is fine and knowing that no one needs me, I don't want anyone to need me.

That they love me beautifully, whether I'm there or not, that they really love me for what I give and who I am, but that they don't need me.

If only we could always be enough for ourselves, if only that were a law or a condition inherent to human beings. At the end of the day the only person who really needs us is ourselves, no one can breathe for us.

It breaks my heart to see my mother in a situation of dependency and honestly I do a lot for her, but sometimes I wish I could run away and she could run after me and shout: I don't need you anymore daughter! I don't need you anymore! I am fine! I like being with you, but I don't need you anymore!

It is a complicated situation, only those who live it can understand it, also taking into account that each similar situation is different in its totality and that each person lives and feels it differently.

I go around asking for guidance to the Divinity, to the supreme mind that was in charge of creating this whole mess called life, to which most of us cling so much. I am asking for guidance to do my part as best I can, to also have the courage to set limits and act according to what is best for me and for the people I love, including of course my mother, my brothers and sisters.

Saturday is finally here and I will have time for myself, I won't rest much because on Sunday I have to work at the bakery but I will take advantage of the time to be with my partner. I don't need her, we don't need each other, but we love to be close, very close, so it will surely be great.

For today I take a breather, a sigh, a day for my delight. A bit of color, of nuances, to fill my soul with joy and tranquility, remembering that it is also important to take care of oneself and enjoy the small moments.

Listening to the music I like is also part of the time I dedicate to myself.