frozen

have you ever heard late at night
in another room outside the eye
a faraway life beyond your ken
just next door and then

the sound of rapid inhalations
a quick breath and
lung deep bellow of devotion
followed by
cascading notes of emotion

how laughter has a sound
almost like weeping
the same pattern as
the sound of a heart breaking

when you hear it - that sound
your heart
your heart becomes liquid
alight with fire
and then
frozen
unable to move
lost in fear full of pain
wanting to reach out yet
not quite sure how
to touch

you wait not knowing
should you feel sadness for a strangers pain
the pit of fear behind dry eyes
a coursing of energy in your spine
readying for impact

the anticipation of fight
or a soaring of flight?

is this laughter or pain
sorrow or anger
you hear and feel another life
that is not yours yet
you hold your breath not knowing why

curious and puzzled about
the mystery
of what should be so funny
so ridiculous or ironically quirky
or painful and heartbreaking

laughter leaps across a wall into the sky
landing on your heart
weeps out of one chest
into another
in a relief of tears

you feel a small jealousy and regret
that gnaws on you with wanting
a painful knowing

that this is not you
will never be you
not you in that room that you can't see -
a life you will never live
those arms you will never feel
that heart you cannot touch
you are not the one to soothe the hurt
to feel the joy and laughter
share that life

what distance holds you back
but a wall and time
and eyes that never look your way
five feet of space but
no bridge to close the gap
between your heart and mine