They All Seem To Be The Same

Different set of circumstances, different decisions, different experiences.

But human, nonetheless.

We walk through life adorned in countless identities, child, professional, parent, friend, citizen, student, teacher, consumer, creator.

Like layers of clothing, some identities are proudly displayed and others tucked away from view.

The celebrity posting perfection online battles the same insecurities as the millions scrolling through their feed.

What strikes me most is the humorous mismatch between our internal and external changes.

I think on the outside, we tend to transform dramatically, especially within a relatively long amount of time.

For example, from awkward teenagers to assured adults or novices who've graduated to becoming experts.

I can't remember much how I felt or what I believed when I graduated from high school a decade ago, but I can confidently say my mindset is completely different now than before.

On the inside however, a constant observer persists, or more like an unchanging awareness that watches these transformations with a somewhat curious detachment.

"Is this really me in this business suit?" asks the same voice that once questioned, "Is this really me in this graduation gown?"

This core witness to our own becoming, remains remarkably stable throughout our lives, for the most part.

Given that it's that part of ourselves that feels simultaneously ageless and ancient, regardless of the number on our birthday cake.

I've often wondered why we're so quick to create distance between ourselves and others.

Part of me is leaning more towards believing it's a survival mechanism or just simply easier to navigate the world when it's neatly divided into "like me" and "not like me"?

We emphasize differences(cultural, political, socioeconomic) as if these surface variations somehow make us fundamentally different species.

When a stranger's laughter mirrors your own or you recognize your own grief in someone else's tears, the illusion shatters like glass against concrete and it's mostly impossible to reassemble in quite the same way.

These moments reveal the arbitrary nature of our perceived boundaries.

The person from a culture completely foreign to yours understands perfectly what it means to miss home.

Understanding your uniqueness requires recognizing your sameness.

The more I recognize myself in others, the more clearly I see what makes my experience distinct.

Not because I'm fundamentally different, but because I'm expressing common human traits through the unique instrument of my specific life circumstances.

Now, when I see someone achieve something extraordinary, I don't think they must be a different kind of human or a secret alien.

I rather wonder on what combination of circumstances, choices, and perspectives led them there?

If anything, this shift doesn't diminish an iota of their achievement, in my eyes it just makes it more remarkable by placing it within the realm of human possibility rather than superhuman exception.

Besides, it relieves the exhausting burden of having to be exceptionally unique and offers permission to perhaps be ordinarily extraordinary.

Now, one could argue that such a realization can flatten the magnificent diversity of human expression.

Which to a certain extent is true. I've experienced moments when recognizing similarities made me overlook important differences, particularly cultural nuances that deserve acknowledgment and respect.

At the same time, I think an appreciation can develop for how the same basic elements can combine in endless variations, not unlike music created from the same limited set of notes but with different arrangements, tempos, and instruments creating infinite possibilities.

Nodding along to someone's professional persona while knowing full well there's a multidimensional human behind the mask is the peak of existential comedy for me.


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