People Skills

Is the world cut out more for those who are socially fluent over those who aren't?

As humans, we live on and off a social spectrum that defines much of our experience.

It's a core aspect of our our collective experience that shapes our opportunities, relationships, and sense of belonging.

When we move beyond simplistic stereotypes of introverts and extroverts, I think we're inherently all social creatures, although some find it easier to socialise more than others, depending on factors that aren't easily discernible.

Of course, if you're like me who believes people operate on different wavelengths, then a possible factor is finding(or not) your tribe, i.e those rare connections where communication feels effortless and authentic.

But I think this is only an aspect of it.

A few of the quietest people I know can be really loud given the right environment and people who make them feel safe.

And it's a noticeable pattern for me to see seemingly naturally extroverted people retreat into their cocoon when the going gets tough, as in environments where substance matters more than style.

Generally, there's a good sense of ease that comes with being understood without having to explain yourself. It gives more than enough room to express yourself freely.

Experientially, I'm more able to form meaningful connections when I lead with curiosity rather than judgment, and vice versa.

In a marketing context, this could be the equivalent of cold outreach versus warm outreach, the former is just a lot of trial and error that needs to be balanced with genuine interest in the person you're reaching out to.

Now, back to the question of whether our world favors the socially skilled over those less socially skilled.

I think it isn't simple. Maybe the question could be reframed a bit into; Does our society value connection over competence?

In that case, the answer is probably somewhere in the middle.

Those who navigate social waters with ease always find doors opening more readily. They're more likely to be remembered after interviews, promoted in visibility-dependent roles, and invited to opportunities that happen in social settings.

There's undeniable privilege in social fluency, given that we're all social beings hardwired for connection and community.

Yet on the other side of the spectrum, many of our greatest innovators, thinkers, and creators have been those who step back from the social current to observe, reflect, and build.

Deep work mostly happens in solitude, maintenance work happens in collaboration, that's what the innovation cycle looks like to me for the most part.

What natural networkers sometimes do is miss out on opportunities by focusing on quantity over quality of connections.

I've also noticed somewhat of an interesting paradox.

As our world becomes more digital and remote, we simultaneously place more emphasis on "people skills" while creating more avenues for success that don't require traditional social navigation.

At least, it's all the more better than what previous generations have going during their time.

Today, a programmer working remotely can change the world without ever mastering office politics.

And just as well, content creators have build a large following without working a room.


Thanks for reading!! Share your thoughts below on the comments.