The change in the upbringing of children this past years is no longer news: even different from how it was 7-10 years ago, different from what I experienced and from what I've heard. Every parent or say adult has their own way they believe a child should be trained. The approach to teach, communicate, express and correct is based on individual perspective and experiences.
One thing that can't be denied is this,every parent trained up their children based on their own experiences, it's either the same with their experiences or opposite of their experiences. It's either you like how you were being brought up and want replicate the same when you train up your children or you don't like how you were being brought up so you decide to do opposite.
Not too long, I was asked if I had any childhood trauma. My response was no and the one who asked seems to be shocked. I really do not have any because of how I grew up. I am still surprised how and why my parents trained myself and my siblings in such way. They didn't pamper us neither were they too strict, I really don't get it when I think of it, my parents are also of the 80's but they found a way to not make it like that. My mom was the typical African mother, dad is more calm than the usual African dad. I have been caned, shouted at, insulted maybe twice, punished but I have also been pampered, shown love and big supports. My parents found a way to balance it, they weren't perfect but I appreciate it.
It is needless to say that the way chidren were brought up many years ago was not good enough, we all know why it was so, yet, we can testify to the results. Many of us are living results or examples of those kind of upbringing. One major issue was the fact that some of our parents or the parents in those days didn't express or didn't know how to express love enough to their children, second major reason was that parents then tend to appeared too hard, do not entertain questions, especially questioning what they say (more like a military ground, just do as I say). They barely seek the opinion and wants of their kids, they most times just do what's they think is best for their kids. But it is clear that the strictness, constant lookout to correct mistakes and others shaped us to be better children in the society.
Back in those days, parent compete to have children with the best characters in the society, it was a thing of pride and joy for those parents to hear someone especially strangers say "I like your boy/girl, he/she is respectful,smart, hardworking, understands without being told" these things make parents happy. So, they tend to shape their children to always get such responses. Another things about children upbringing them was that parents back then so much value respect in every regard and form, saying hate is such a big word but they hated disrespect.
Well, the way children are being trained these days is far different. You'd be opportune to see how some children behave and will wonder "whose child is this" "where the heck is this boy/girl from?". I mean, it would be so glaring that a child lacks good home training. If you correct or tell the child that he or she lack a thing, such child will cry back home to the parents. When you see those kids they are utterly ignorant of the fact that they are doing something not good or totally bad. Worse side of it is that the same parents would confidently come out to fight whoever tries to correct their child. In the 80's anyone, especially in the same neighborhood can correct and go to an extent to discipline someone else's child that does wrong without the parent of such child getting angry: parents even loved it then. They believe "every person in the society has a responsibility of training up every child."
Some of the common things about the upbringing of children in this present time is the ignorance and negligence of parents: they don't believe that they need to add more to their so called balanced parenting. Many of these kind of parent were either from a home where they were so pampered or were too strict and hard, hence they want to replicate how they were raised or show more love to their children than they got. This is understandable but it is also causing more damage to the human society.
Never will I be against showing so much love to children, pampering kids but please train up and teach your children the basic morals for goodness sake! The balance you preach is actually not balanced; claimed because to be more emotional intelligent and aware than those in the 80's but we leave out teaching and enforcing the morals, valuable cultural and ethnic practices, etc. Where is now the balance?
Parenting is not easy, it can be weary and demands you observing, caring and constantly guiding few younger humans. I am happy some parents were/are able to get the balance, I've met some gen alpha kids that are genuinely respectful like the older generations but they are more out spoken and quick to air their opinion or ask questions.
Image used in this post was gotten from Meta Ai.
