We always say life is short and that we should do whatever it is that makes us happy and yet our actions doesn't exactly show us trying to do what makes us happy. Almost as if we just say this words but never mean it and it's sad, because I happen to fall under this same category of people.
A friend of mine was complaining the other day about how none of us at the hostel do anything fun with our lives. All we do is the basic things, get up in the morning and go to bed at night, almost as if following a strict schedule. And although he was right about how sad the whole situation was, I do get it that to some people, that is what makes them happy, but even the thought of that kinda of lifestyle being your happy place feels extremely sad to me.
When that friend made that statement, I immediately remembered the many times I've come out here to talk about how much my social life (and probably my life in general) sucks and how I plan on changing it from that day henceforth but then the moment I go to bed and wake up, all of that motivation just fades away and I find myself back to square one, to my old self again.
But you see, I feel like one of my problems with making a change in my lifestyle is that I always plan on making the change myself by myself without asking help from anyone. That to me was my mistake because I honestly don't feel I have the will power on my own to actually exert the change I desperately want for myself.
Which is why like I said in one of the post I made recently, I have made plans with men (and women) that I trust (in Tommy shelby's voice) and I have made them promise that no matter the excuse, no matter the problem, this young man won't remain the same this year. And to be honest, that's the huge difference between this year's December and last year's.
Unlike last year where all I wanted to do was be by myself and wallow in my own sadness because I am always sad during this periods, I've decided to not do that this year because being sad is boring and I'm really tired of being bored. So if you ask me, the difference is that I really want to be happy and do happy things with people who make me happy.
And I already started it. I told you guys some few days ago about how I went to the pool with some of my friends, that was me coming out of my shell to actually hangout. Although that particular outing didn't exactly end well because my friend almost lost his life while swimming, but aside from that, it was a really nice and entertaining outing.
So yeah, that's the difference between my last year December and this year's December because unlike last year, I'm actually putting in the work and doing what I said I would do.