I am starting my first practicum as a counselor-in-training. I'll be working with youth, ages 10-17. My responsibilities will be anything from giving assessments to general case management. And I vacillate from trembling to confident.
Looking over the referral paperwork for two clients I will be working with was a sacred and heavy experience. Not because they have severe psychiatric symptoms, but because the situations they are in are heartbreaking. But the situations can be overcome. None of these youths are beyond help, which gives me hope. Hope is important for everyone in people helping professions to have; if you don't have it you can't share it.
What terrifies me is that I am playing a role in their future, and I am still trying to learn what I am doing.
However, I cannot let the weight of this responsibility stop me. I am so thankful to have a strong support system of family and friends, quality training, and an understanding of myself and self-care to prevent burnout.
While I was at work today, I was listening to the radio and the worship song "Open the Eyes of My Heart" came on. The lyrics go like this:
(Verse)
Open the eyes of my heart, Lord.
Open the eyes of my heart.
I want to see You.
I want to see You.
(Chorus)
To see You high and lifted up.
Shining in the light of Your glory;
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy.
Holy, holy, holy,
Holy, holy, holy,
Holy, holy, holy,
I want to see You.
As I was worshipping along to the song, in my heart a desire stirred to have my spiritual eyes open to all that and more. Not only do I want to see Jesus lifted, but I want to be a part of His work of lifting up the broken hearted and weary around me. I want to see these youth, who are being entrusted to my care, lifted out of their daily mire and brought into a better way of living. I know I cannot do it on my own, but I am confident that the God who created the universe is more than capable of helping me to journey along side my clients as they decide if they want to work towards a different life. So I approach these next steps with humble trepidation, recognizing that I have much to learn and much to give.