The party had already begun, everyone was present, drinks and food were all set up. But one thing was missing, Zara; The Life!
Zara soon arrived at the party, 20 minutes late, just enough to make people miss her and notice when she walked in.
Hey, did someone say tequila? She shouted as she excitedly walked into the room. Music played loudly, people's face lighted up, excited to see Zara, and someone quickly handed her a drink.
And just like that, the party came to life with Zara's appearance!
She moved from groups to group, cracked jokes, danced, tell funny stories! And all of them she does effortlessly!
She makes sure the energy at the party never drops. When someone stood alone, she pulled them in and makes sure they have fun.
But what they didn't know was how bitter Zara was really inside. No one saw how often her eyes wandered when they weren't looking. They didn’t see how tired she was behind the big smile.
She sneaked into the kitchen after a while. All by herself, and instead of more alcohol, she poured a glass of water, with her hand shaking a little. She leaned against the kitchen counter, feeling the ache in her jaw from too much laughing, staring at the wall and taking a deep breath! Zara hadn’t been okay for a long time, she's had so much issues in the family with her Stepdad and her mom and it's been really difficult for her! Lately she's become unnoticed at her own home, so she overcompensates by being the center of attention outside.
Behind all the energy and jokes, Zara really felt empty. She laughed the loudest whan she was hurting the most. No one knew what Zara was passing through, they didn't know that when the party ended and everyone was gone, she would sit in silence, feeling so depressed.
Deep down, she wanted to talk to someone about it, someone who really cares, but she just didn't know how to. People expected her to always be happy, the one who always brings the fun. So she wondered, If she stopped being that person, would they still care?
After each party ended, Zara walked home alone, in the cold and quiet night. Her heels made small sounds on the road as she wipes a tear or two from her cheek.
She got home, dropped her shoes and bag on the the bed and sat on the floor, feeling really drained. She stared the the pictures on the wall, showing her at different parties which now felt fake.
She picked up her phone and looked through photos from the party. She was laughing in all of them. The comments started coming in:
"Zara, you’re the best! You're the life!"
“Always full of good vibes, Zara!”
“Parties are nothing without you!”
"We should do this again, Zara"
She sighed.
After that quiet night, she took the courage to talk to someone, a cousin. It wasn't a full solution, but the beginning of one! Her cousin made her realize that you don’t always have to make people laugh or do what they expect, it's important to do things to do things that you genuinely love!
Two days later, she got another invitation to a different party. Zara stared at the message for a long time. The she finally replied:
"Hey, I'm sorry I can't make it. I need a quiet night today."
The person replied,
“Zara not coming? Aww, it won’t be the same!”
She smiled a little, this time a real smile. No pressure, no pretence.
That night, she lit her candle, made coffee and read a book she has been wanting to complete since she started it.
She curled up on her couch and whispered to herself:
"You don't need to be the life to be loved!"
Zara begins to do things that truly makes her happy, like reading and she even picked up painting again as she has always loved doing. This helped her to rediscover who she is behind the party masks.
She carefully sets her boundaries and choose where and how to show up. She can still be joyful but not to please anyone or because people expect it, but because she feels it. And if she doesn't feel okay, she allows herself to say so, and even talk to someone if she needs to.
Truly, you don't have to be the life to be loved!
