The word NO is a word that most people are always hurt by the time it's said to them. And sometimes the hurt is so deep that one might even feel betrayed. Hearing the word no can be embarrassing, depending on who said it and where it was said. Just imagine being told no in public; to me, it's embarrassing.
The word NO sometimes can be hard to say. I remember a day at work when my boss instructed me during our monthly appraisal meeting to carry out a task, and I can say the instruction was shocking to everyone. The directive would lead to a big loss for the company. I was to head the team that would carry out the task. Everyone looked at me and they were expecting me to counter our boss' instructions. I vividly remember some persons looking at me and giving me some signal with their eyes. I understood what they were trying to communicate but I ignored them. I stood up and appreciated my boss for allowing me to head the team assigned the responsibility.
After the meeting, I went to meet my boss, and I could see that he was stressed. I said I came to appreciate him once again for the privilege to head the team. He looked at me and asked me what I thought about the decision. At that moment, I was happy; I had gotten what I was looking for. I told him the pros and cons of the decision and why I would not love the company to embark on the said project. My boss smiled and thanked me for not embarrassing him in public. At that moment, I realized some things are better off discussed in private. I began to imagine how embarrassing it would have been to argue with my boss in public and make him look bad in front of everyone. Well, I can say that it's not actually bad to accept responsibility and then not carry it out after stating your reasons for not carrying out the responsibility.
Over the years, I have learned that sometimes one must learn how to say no to people. I know it might hurt their feelings but sometimes it is for the benefit of everyone. I was always of the opinion that saying no was bad, but recently, I saw that there is a need for me to always let people know my stand on a particular issue. Saying no most times saves one from getting involved in what will bring shame to the friends and family.
I know saying no to a person that you are so close to can, most times, be difficult and nerve-racking. We try to avoid hurting their feelings but sometimes the no is very important. But one has to be careful to not hurt the person on the receiving end. One has to be polite and not overly rude.
I feel personally that we need to read the room before saying no. This will help in reducing the tension.
