How can I explain it? These days I hold onto the slightest happiness like a lifeline. Maybe it’s because I get so few moments of joy these days, that I will the few joyful moments to last longer than they should. In between preparing for my examinations which sap most of my energy away, and a terrible, most heart-breaking news I got recently, it’s a lot, to say the least. But hey, that is why I have my little joy sources, right?
First, A Good Picture.
For the longest time, I thought I was not photogenic. I honestly still feel like that. But I have been taking really lovely pictures of myself these days, and that pleases me to no ends. For someone who dreaded the idea of taking pictures and whose mood immediately changed when the subject of taking pictures in group meetings came up, you can’t imagine how this new phase of having good pictures makes me happy. It’s like an extra dose of self esteem.
More than that, there are pictures I take of other things. Like flowers and trees and still-life objects. I wouldn’t remotely call myself a good photographer but nature in itself and pictures of nature imbue me with this indescribable joy. I take these pictures blindly but with intentionality, then once I scroll through my gallery an see them in all their glory, I’m nearly in tears at the perfection.
Second, Being With My Friends
I’ve acquired the most interesting set of physical friends. I have virtual friends that bring me happiness beyond belief but it is lovely that I now have friends I can laugh with, for the most part, and have/get my type of humour. The beautiful thing about it all is the fact that they are all Law students like myself.
So, we study our cumbersome textbooks and materials together, and in between all of that, we share the most boisterous laughter. It’s more than the laughter or studying but that little sense of belonging that stays a part of us. Really amazing stuff. People switch up all the time, but as this subsists, I can’t deny how nice it all feels.
And lastly, Purpose.
It’s not something I’ve talked about on the Chain yet but I’m beginning to discover my life’s purpose and seeing how clearly it’s shaping leaves me with this drive and most of all, joy. I feel like the pathway to a lot of great things is now open and I only need to lock in, and be disciplined, and they will all be mine.
So, each day, I wake up and see my passion for this come alive. I wish I could explain it but do you know that feeling where you see the lines falling into place? Like, you’ve found a hobby that you’re deriving the most satisfaction from. Or maybe, something that gives you joy can now be monetized. It’s not about the money, at least not right now in my case, but realizing that something you enjoy, or are passionate about can be so much more.
Like, I said, the things that brought me joy in the past, are as of the moment, unavailable. Not music or books, but these three remain. And I’m holding onto it. Somehow, I believe these three are going to last. But we’ll just have to watch and see, right?..
Jhymi🖤
Images are mine.
