So many things is happening, and some people has a lot of things due to pressure, frustrations and intimidation. I will be sharing my mother's friend experienced with you guys today. There's this widow staying close to us, she has been a widow for 16 years now. The woman is very hard working, smart and focused woman. She have 4 children when her husband died. Since the dead of her husband she doesn't bother to remarry again. So many people thought she will remarry because only her cannot take care of this 4 children the late husband has left for her.
People in the community keeps saying how would a widow take care of this 4 children alone and she's not even working with government or any organization or company. All this widow does is farming during farming season and sell fresh tomatoes, fresh okro, fresh pepper and grinding items at home because she have grinding machine at home. Her first child is 14 years old, currently in secondary school SS 2 , planing to write her senior secondary school certificate examination (SSCE) next year.
One day, this widow came to our house and shared her challenges with my mother in the setting room because she's very close to my mother and confided in my mother very well. She told my mother after the death of her late husband, things have not been easy with her and her four children. Even if she took her problems to the late husband relative they will not help her out with it. Instead two of the late husband relative asked her to marry them , one of them if she wants them to support and help her with her problems and raising the children. But because she doesn't love any of them or cannot marry someone she doesn't love. But she finds it difficult and challenges when her two late husband brothers keeps on insisting and persisting in getting married to them or they will throw her out of their late husband's house.
This has being the constant issue she often discussed with my mother and I overheard them countless times talking about it. Two weeks ago, the woman came to our house crying and telling my mother they asked her to leave the house, that's her late husband's house. She cried that even with that she cannot marry none of them. My mother and some village elders went and intercede on behalf of her and they stopped asking her to pack out of the late husband's house. The widow was so happy and appreciate my mother and other elder people that stood and supported her by protecting her late husband's house and her children. She refused to be threatens by those men asking her to marry them even against her wish or refuse to depend on men for provisions for her family. Some widows lost their strength and conscious when they lost their husbands. Because of the weight of the children school fees, clothing, feedings and about the house bills they couldn't not control themselves anymore. They will sleep with men inexchange for money in order to sort out their bills. But this particular woman, a widow stood her ground, refused to sleep with men inexchange for money or involved herself into devious ways just to meet her needs. She's truly a strong woman I have seen.
With her farming work and little business she has been doing, she could be able to take care of her four children. Paying the children school fees and hospital bills and supporting the entire family by herself is something I cannot really tell. Though she get support and help from other people that wants to see her progress and succeed in life as heaven's blessed them.
The story of this widow, her strength and ability to handled things have inspired me in no small way. Being a single mother or a widow with four children and without receiving any assistance from the late husband's relative is tough and difficult. Any woman that is raising up children without a support of a man or husband is indeed a strong woman.