As I have been in Barcelona for over a month, now, one month ago, I rediscovered my passion for writing. I have been writing close to every day since. Everything is texts that has to do with christian mysticism, and therfore is also linked to my personal life. For me this has been a very important experience, it has been an experience of finding my self again, and a way for me, – not only to express my thoughts and feelings, but a way for me to move towards the meaning of my life, therefore also filling my days with an intense sense of meaning, moving ever closer to the mystery of the holy, closer to God, the Love.
This text I will publish now is therefore just the first of many texts written in this wonderful city of Catalonia, often in Park Guel, the park upon one of the hills above the city, a sunny morning. This text however was written in a cafe, after a visit in probably the most beautiful church in the world, Sagrada Familia, where the ancient and the modern meets each other in a spectacular fusion of light and architecture which is wholy unseen for the human eye until it was under construction, which it still is. This text is the text that is the start of a new writing journey for me, because I felt so inspired, just writing exactly what comes into mind, no judging, only writing, writing in a flow of words, letting the text be an authentic expression of my thoughts and feelings.
Mystical Christianity
Mystical Christianity is the way that opens up when the literal traditional believes, becomes meaningless, when the religion you follow becomes absolutely ridiculous intellectually and even morally repressing. When the religion defines itself with the ingredient of stubbornness in the wrong direction which is the very definition of stupidity.
Their whole sense of reality is backwards. Love is exclusion, exclusion is love. The happiness of diversity, of difference the stunningly beauty of the whole human being is neglected and the celebration of irrational submission, coined together with the desperate longing of making everyone the same, in fierce contradiction of nature itself.
However we have not spoken justice to either of the topics, I cannot cannot stop wonder in awe about the intellectual dishonesty of the people promoting the literalism of any holy book, they are all stuck in circular arguments, which are based upon completely unproven assumptions. However this house built upon the sand will fall all together by the slightest question, even the childish curiosity of: “(if God is good) who made the devil?” – will overflow this house and it will sink and become to wreak and spread all over the oceans of the world.
True they live in joy, true they live in belonging, in fellowship, in love, but the fakeness of it all, will always knock at the door, and as a thief in the night all joy will be taken, stolen away from you, in the truthful realisation that it all, was a lie. However if you have come so far, lucky you. Your eyes are open, now you can see clearly, now the mystery of the true God is open to you, you are like the child again, oh, yes some will go back again convincing themselves that they didn’t see the truth, but they did and they know it. Still someone continues there in forever fakeness, in what we call hell. However, as some does, they continue to walk and engage in the mystery of God.
Then comes the oposite temptation of atheism and meaninglessness, now it is a mistake to call it atheism, I rather call it the religionless. The people of no identity, of no home, no true family, they are like leaves, that blows in the wind, they have som colours, yes, but very soon they are brown and rotten. They are the ever searching they are in desperate search for themselves, but they have no idea of who they are, so they are in never ending search of themselves in others hoping they, can tell them who they are.
In order to run away of the meaninglessness of their every day life, they drink and party every weekend, maybe im here in this party, maybe Im here in this dance-floor? Can someone love me? I dont want sex only, I want meaning, I want identity, I want a home! However they will not find it, and the rest of their life they walk around in confusion with the constant feeling of something missing, and what is missing is, themself, God.
Now the mystic does not turn back to the fakeness of literalism, nor nor does he loose himself completely in the non-religious world. He knows who he is, he knows hes own history, he knows he is part of ancient wisdom, part of a rich tradition and in the end part of all humanity and God.
By this knowledge he will not loose himself or live in continuous fakeness. He looks upon life as the continuous exploration of the glory and beauty of God. He sees the whole universe as a teacher to shape you, mold you into the perfect pottery, the perfect vase. Therefore the knowledge, that any experience either thought you something or gave you another story to share, is affiirmently sure and secure, that means that he acts upon this knowledge ad make it reality.
The mystic is therefore always growing, growing into the beautiful experience of the devine. He seeks for the places of Gods holiness, which he has to find out himself however it should not be a surprise, that the key-word here is Love, the very name of God. For the human being there is no greater experience, no more meaningful experience then the blissful connection of another human being. Now the connection comes from the likeness of yourselves, in the other and the celebration of the difference in the other however the great connection comes from the joy and happiness, the likeness and the difference is making within you.
The blissfulness of this experience, is no point in describing, we call it God, we call it the devine, but it is not something which is too much meaningful to convey with words, you have to be there, live there, and you know it when you have found it. The importance of being true to yourself is therefore of great consideration, lest you be stuck in an unfulfilling relationship. So the beauty of God is found in love, but the christian mystic also know that God is found in the churches, in the Bible, and in nature. The churches is the calm places of being and of esthetic, of music and fellowship, the Bible is stories and pointers to the truth and God. The christian mystic are therefore finding places of where to find God and that you have to do yourself, in painting, writing, dancing, music, in the pure goodness to others and the people around you, and an absolute astonishment of life and being itself.
The complete realisation of I am,
εγω ειμι