My depression has gotten considerably worse the last few weeks and I am now starting to run out of alternatives to help fix it. I live in a area that constantly makes me feel bad about myself and I feel like I can't be myself there, like I have to keep the real me locked up.
I have to go back in a weeks time and with that comes a dark cloud hovering above my head with at any moment its going to collapsing on itself and start to rain all the depressing thoughts back into my head that I've tried hard not to thing about the last week and a half.
I don't know when I'll be able to come back here it may not be for another 4 months, maybe even longer. What hurts even more is that when I do go back home I'll have no one. Sure I have family but I'm not close with them, I don't have that bond with them. I have no friends I can ring up and ask if they want to hang out. All my friends are miles away from me and I sometimes wonder if they are even real friends.
- Ellis