I just finished watching this indie film on YouTube: https://youtu.be/17GcrgNXygE. It's a film about two guys living in LA, the one trying to find something he's good at, trying different things and never being good enough at any, while the other guy is just living, not trying much. But they're both frustrated with how empty their lives are. It's a good film and my short description doesn't do it justice.
I'm not sure where I am. I feel like I'm the second guy, not doing much, but I want to try things like the first guy, but I don't know what to do and in the end I want to do something but feel like I'm currently pointless.
I don't get why people like sad things. Why do I like a depressing film. Is it because I feel similar to the characters in it? Or do I tell myself I feel similar to them because I want to associate with what other people feel?
Do I like sad things because if other people feel that way, maybe I'm not a failure, maybe I'm normal. Maybe I don't need to be happy all the time because it doesn't make sense to be happy, and it's logical not to feel happy. I don't know.
There's something special and almost beautiful about pain and sadness, but I don't understand why.
Edit: hoping to start posting more on Hive, maybe some more thoughts and hopefully some stories too if I can think of something to write.