Yesterday, @socraticmthd and I had one of our long voice mail exchanges. It started out with nutrition and if a government has legitimacy to provide guidelines which influence many decisions all over. But that's not today's topic, maybe I'll discuss that another day.
Today is about me.
And a realization that I had today. About my role in the world, or the role of an individual in the government, and how individualism is causing so much bureaucracy that governments can't really function anymore.
Crazytalk?
Let's see. Those who follow me for a while know a part of my story as a father. When my daughter was 6 months old, her mother took her out of the country without my knowledge. I didn't know where they were for around 3 months.
I found out something very important then - fathers have very little rights in #Ecuador. Which in general is for good reason, there are so many fathers that escape their responsibilities. The laws as they are, are necessary. But they leave no room for exceptions like me, fathers who really try hard to be a good parent, but are continuously blackmailed, blocked and abused by the mother.
For years I was frustrated by that, asking myself why there are no rules for the exceptions, for me. During the interchange of messages, I suddenly realized:
It's the exceptions that create bureaucracy.
In both ways. How much time, energy and money is spend to create the absolute fairest society in an unfair world? In an unfair system? How much resources are spend on hunting down those who exploit the system, resources that could be used for the benefit of all in a way that make the exploiters insignificant?
I'm insignificant.
In the big and whole picture, I am. Not to my community, of course, and my community did stand up for me many times, helping me out in dire streaks to be able to travel to create that incredible bond that I have with Lily. My community couldn't change the law, but they could change my and in consequence Lily's life with that.
But in the nation? I'm an exception to the rule. And that means a lot more than one would think in the first moment. Yes, I suffer by it, but can I seriously ask to create a rule that covers the exception of the rule? Especially knowing the incompetence that so many governments and bureaucratic organizations carry? That exception, though it would help me tremendously (or, if really poorly crafted, make things worse) could easily be exploited, especially in a time where egoism and corrupted mindsets prevail all around the world and with that here, too.
Loopholes.
Most damage isn't done through flaws in the laws (only 1 letter difference). It's done through criminal activity. Knowingly. And yes, of course there's a critical mass when a legal loophole has to be fixed. Yet, to me, it would make much more sense to go after those who are actively breaking the law in a way that damages society. Because especially here, too many fathers are getting away without paying any child support. Without taking any responsibility whatsoever. Which is illegal. But nobody does anything about it.
It's complicated.
We had the 10 commandments. But that was too broad, so exceptions were created. And then more. And more. And they replaced moral. They replaced common sense. They replaced community. And suddenly, placing a comma wrong on a tax form can destroy your entire existence.
So much effort is put into detecting even the smallest slip in the taxes of a small business, or the incorrectly declared possessions of someone on the social take. What if that would all be spend on tracking down the active criminals, evading billions of taxes? I'm pretty sure that the benefit for society would be a lot bigger.
It's not fair.
I would love the world to be fair. But it is not. I would love to live in a state where I'm not the exception, but the rule: that's not reality. The reality is that the laws have to be like they are for the vast majority of mothers to even stand a chance. I don't want to take that away from them.
I'm not that important.
Also, I personally can deal with it. I learned so much from it. Improved so much as a person, am so much more coherent with my values now. I'm privileged that way, I know. But I've been in a activist group that fights for the rights of fathers here. And reading the comments, the way they expressed themselves, I felt like almost each of those didn't want the best for their child. They wanted to get back at their ex.
I'm glad they can't.
What are your thoughts about this topic? Please feel free to engage in any original way, including dropping links to your posts on similar topics. I'm happy to read (and curate) any quality content that is not created by LLM/AI, as well as read your own experience and point of view, I love to learn!
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