STEPPING BACK INTO THE PAST – EARLY CHILDHOOD
"Where does the foundation of all relationships come from? Inevitably these are all formed throughout our childhood by observing and interacting with people around us. Whatever example we have from our own upbringing is going to be part and parcel of how we are with our own children. No matter the situation we were brought up in, we select the elements that have value and try to discard the elements that do not. No matter what we believe, many aspects of our childhood are toxic in one way, shape, or form. And our upbringing, including how we view love, begins at conception.
When we look for an explanation of love and its meaning, it stems from that love which was shared with us from birth. Unfortunately, many children, including myself, are subjected to tremendous abuse at all levels. The image of love is tainted with this experience. Unless we are willing to take that journey back to those times of pain or suffering, we carry this with us, into all our relationships. Many are afraid of opening Pandora’s Box, for fear of yet more pain and suffering; unfortunately, this is a major dilemma we are faced with today.
From my own life experience, I know that I attempted to get to the root of the issues in my own relationships with others despite pain and suffering. On at least 3 occasions I invested a great deal of time in understanding who I am. During these times it always began the journey back to childhood and the way in which I was treated. But is how we were treated by others just an excuse? Blaming others for the way things are happening in our lives is easy. As adults, we are ultimately responsible for our own actions in all that we do, so pointing the finger backwards seems to be the easy way out.
But what happened to us as children was not our responsibility, and never will be. Somehow we have to make peace with this, but it is often hampered because of societal expectations about family. At the same time we also have to live our lives, and already we are transferring that trauma which we suffered into our current life. So it is a perpetuating cycle, because there simply is no time left for us to explore our past and heal our emotional selves, and this is a travesty."
To read a review of my book:
http://publishersdailyreviews.com/love-outside-box-guide-self-love-deane-thomas/
http://www.theindieview.com/latest-indie-reviews-from-around-the-web/
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34375077-love-outside-the-box
