What would you recommend doing if you know your therapist lied to you for a good reason but it still hurts and feels like rejection?


My first thought is, are you sure your therapist lied to you? Is there any possibility that you’re making assumptions here concerning your therapist’s actions and the intent behind them? I would definitely encourage you to talk to him about what happened from your perspective and for sure mention that you believe him to have lied to you… and then see where it goes. I’m really hoping there is an alternative explanation that does not involved him actually lying to you!

If he did indeed lie to you, then you have a breach of trust on his part, and he will have to work hard to rebuild that trust with you. Therapy is based on trust so when it’s broken, that is a very serious therapeutic rupture. Ruptures can be repaired, but it takes work.

Fundamental to abuse is being lied to… on many levels. For this reason I do not believe lying has any place in therapy or in a therapeutic relationship. When it happens, it’s likely some kind of enactment of earlier abuse, in which case, as long as both therapist and client can disengage from the enactment and talk about it with honesty and curiosity, much can be gained from the experience. It can actually be healing to work through all this in a healthy way.

But it can’t continue… and I surely hope it doesn’t happen again. I wish you the best in working through this with your therapist.

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