The intensity in terms of how I’m feeling varies, but the attachment never goes away, any more than the floor of my house goes away just because I’m not focused on it.
The trend for me is that as my sense of security in this attachment grows, the intensity in my feelings about it goes down and there are more and more moments when I’m not really even giving it any thought.
I thought more about it, and was more obsessive in my thinking… back when my side of the attachment was more anxious. But since it has shifted into a more secure attachment, I actually think of it less.
It’s not my job to maintain anything. Everything about maintaining the therapeutic frame and relationship and making it safe for me to attach to him—all that is on M.
He has done his job phenomenally well.
