Two weeks ago, I was in my room when these lovey-dovey couple spread a mat on my corridor. Their conversation was a beautiful one as it revolved around marriage, the colour of their fits, the number of guests, and so on. It was such a beautiful conversation.
At some point, they argued about the number of guests that would be at the event. While one wanted a big wedding, the other wanted a wedding minimal as possible, as long as they have been blessed by both parents, they are good to go.
In my room, while listening to their conversation, I was awed by the love they shared. The way they corrected each other and argued in love. Then, I felt, awwww, this is what love looks like.
A week ago, they came back to the same spot, but this time, with many arguments that I never thought would find a way in their relationship.
It was a case of one party cheating on the other. It started with an argument as flimsy as deleting his pictures from her phone, then graduated to catching her cheating on him with some other people. And in her defence, she said, “it was to protect herself peradventure he eventually dumped her”.
Within few minutes, I witnessed moments of gaslighting, revenge (because the lady said she did what she did as payback for some time he cheated too), emotional blackmail, and a recollection of domestic violence. The guy at some point, when the argument got hot said, “beating you is not a new thing. It’s not the first time it’s happening”.
At that point, I realized that people tend to envy what they don’t know the source, the when, or the how, especially in relation to love.
A lot of people tend to measure their love with the love of others not knowing what is happening outside of social media because they only get to show the lovey-dovey part leaving out the not-so-sweet part of the relationship in their closet.
Many people parade themselves as relationship experts online, teaching people how to deal with their partners, what they should look for in their partners, and what their love should look like forgetting that it’s your relationship, and you can dictate what you want it to be like.
Learning from others is good, however, envying what others have is not because you don’t know the complete story of what their reality is like.
There’s a relationship expert online that says a lot about what a perfect relationship should be like, but she ended up with someone she claimed to be her friend whose former wife died because he cheated. Imagine seeing their pictures online, and you go “awwww, this is what you want your love life to look like”, it means that you are asking for something fatal which you shouldn't dream of.
It is good to fall in love, and be in love, but using someone else’s relationship as a yardstick because of what they post online is not advised when you could craft your own love story and live it.
I’m not saying you should accept anything in the name of love, nah. Far from it. Rather, I’m saying that envying people’s relationship is not needed when you can write your own love story, find a partner whose goals are similar to yours, and live the love you planned for yourself.
Images are from MetaAI.
