This is when my heart sealed,
This is when I remembered strength.
In this moment,
I cry no more.
I sat beside his decaying flesh, his soul falling off like the leaves of autumn.
Oh sweet relief, when will this end, I'd thought I saw the flicker of deepest green toward me.
As my heart melted and moved tried and true towards my feet, I held his clasp in mine.
He swallows in a staggering breath, and just like that my resolve had come undone.
As despair sank his fangs deeper into my arteries, my lungs, my fevered conscience, my ever fraying will,
I steeled his gaze to mine and held strong and true to what would be my last moment.
I think at that moment I felt you leave, but maybe you were just searching for something more.
Maybe I realised that I could never be or become your everything, maybe you'd reached defeat.
In the stillness of the night I remember that we held each other as though letting go would be our death,
In the stillness of the night I remember that you had that stillness in you buried deep.
I knew in this moment that I had to walk away, I had to dream just to see you once again since then.
I remember how we each would strive for meaningful interactions and how we always came away empty,
And so it was that I cried beside his pallor, now empty as your blinding light was extinguished.
Like a lovesickness I only look at you when I'm hungry,
And tonight as famished as I am - I steel my eyes away.
In this moment,
I cry no more.
I leave.
