It's time for another #squirrelsunday
A pollster squirrel is going around town to each rodent demographic to try and figure out who will win the title of chief furrball.
Most normies try and dodge the pollster as they don't want to reveal their political preference. They are worried the current tyrant furrball will find out who they voted for in the last election.
The conservative squirrels are too busy working and making profits in acorns to answer silly political questions. They know that no matter who is elected they will have to bribe the new furrball same as the old furrball.
The ultra liberal commie squirrels are eager to answer pollsters, after all they are busy living off their trust funds and welfare and have nothing to do other than squeek slam poetry at the local crack house.
The anarcho capitalist squirrel is trying to lure the pollster into his trapdoor that is installed on the edge of his property. This way he can trade the pollster for protection from the coyote county next door.
Many squirrels fall into a football political issue camp. This one is of course a tree hugging environmentalist. Will the next furrball kill all the extra squirrels to save the planet? If not I'm not voting for him!!!
The young college student squirrel thought he could get a free t-shirt by filling out the pollster's questions. Instead all he got was a bunch of junk email and rock the vote greenday ads in his browser.
The mother of three squirrel is hoping for better acorn education in the schools. Kids these days don't even know how to count their acorns soon the chipmunks overseas will be taking all our jobs because at least they can count.
The blue collar working class squirrel want's more tariffs on the coyote county and will vote for whoever his trade union tells him to vote for. Little does he know the union boss is already in the pocket of the highest bidder who will cancel his job to appease the tree hugging liberal squirrels.
And here are the candidates. Basically all the same, a robot with fur covering it. Some will have extra tails and ears to garner more attention from the voters who only look at the pictures of the candidates and not the policy. For millenia the chief furrball has just been the same robot dressed up by different secret owl societies controlling their farmed population of squirrels.
