The weather is unseasonably warm for Autumn and I can't tell if my sweating forehead is caused by the heat of the room, my current cold / flu, or the possibiliy of
Today is Anzac Day in Australia, the equivalent of Veteran's Day or Rememberance Day. It should get a post of it's own, but I don't think I could do it the justice it deserves.
For most people it's a public holiday, but for others the day has lost it's significance. Some fish and chip shops were open on Easter Sunday, but not today which highlights the level of importance.
The reason I'm here, if I am being honest, is that I am procrastinating. I am supposed to be cleaning up my one bedroom unit and generally downsizing.
Some have called this "executive disfunction" whereas others would call it laziness.
I would suggest it's a lack of dopamine associated with cleaning and maybe the attachment to things long deemed beyond their usefulness. The pizza is a reward.
"I'll read through that stack of books one day" but that day never comes and my rare leisure time is most wasted playing PS4 games.
Don't get me started on the laundry, which is also begging to be done...
The Jedi were guardians of the Old Republic before they were all but wiped out during the Clone Wars.
The Jedi embody all that is good, for the most part, and for this particular post I am invoking them for their mental discipline and courage.
I need to become my own Jedi.
One of the struggles of adult life is knowing acutely that, while I may be supported by friends and family, I am 100% responsible for my actions and inactions and that can feel incredibly lonely at times.
The Becoming
Ultimately, there is no one to rescue me and therefore I need to rescue myself. I need to mentally shut down the darker voices of self doubt and listen to those that want me to succeed. Not the empty platitude though.
Mental discipline and focus to do what I know needs to be done, even though I don't want to is what I need.
Not through positive thinking, but rather an absence of thought. It allows me to move faster and get things done when I am not focused on the time I think it will take.
It means listening to my body letting me know that certain workplaces are toxic, and then having the courage to quit those jobs.
Anxiety attacks from being reminded every day that I don't meet their quotas is unhealthy long term.
It's about finding inner strength and allowing it to flow into everything I do.
It's about working on my physical strength, while I still have what's left of my youth, to be of more value to society.
There's obviously more to it, but I hope.you get the idea.
My pizza is now here, see above, and it's time for me to get back into cleaning and the laundry. Tomorrow, I will quit my toxic call centre job and look for something else.
It's time for me to become my own Jedi.
Thank you for reading.
Shaidon
PS. I am a real person and I refuse to use AI in my posts. All photos are taken by me where possible (sources are cited for other people's property).
You upvote makes a big difference.
