All others displaced in human history have been forced to establish new lives and build themselves up instead of depending on perpetual largesse of others while nursing grievances. Dublin, May 15 - Researchers at Trinity College here in the Irish capital made a major breakthrough last month: according to the British Journal of Medicine, a team from TC have identified a sequence of DNA that occurs in Palestinian males that codes for the production of proteins of perpetual statelessness, which no other population has ever exhibited.

"A healthy system has checks and balances that allow for the people with the correct opinions to get rid of those who don't agree." Tel Aviv, May 14 - Legal scholars again lamented today that the group who established Israel's governmental and legal system failed to institute any formal process by which commentators, journalists, and establishment institution heads allied with the premier's political rivals can remove him from office without convincing enough voters to do so.

"It might look like Israeli actions somehow forced Hamas into this position, where it looks weakened." Cairo, May 13 - Representatives of the Islamist terrorist group holding Israeli hostages in the Gaza Strip stated again today that an agreement with Israel to pause hostilities in exchange for the release of some or all of the hostages will not occur unless Israel accedes that a clause in the agreement explicitly declare that no one must construe this or any other development as implying that the terrorist group suffered any manner of defeat that forced them to stop fighting and agree to release the hostages.

"It would help to have a Democratic administration in place." New York, May 12 - A Guatemalan gang member keeping a low profile to avoid law enforcement under President Trump's more robust immigration enforcement lamented today his organization's lack of groundwork to help buffer against crackdowns, dwelling with particular envy on the detailed, painstaking placement and bankrolling at elite academic institutions of a cadre of faculty and students that states such as Qatar have engineered to bolster cultural and political influence far in excess of the actual voter strength it represents.

"What Western courts often fail to appreciate, the religious courts of Yemen found plain as day. Aden, May 8 - A religious court established today that Islamic Law accepts as women those biological men who identify as women, and as such, those men-cum-women may not vote, own property, leave the house unaccompanied by a male chaperone, drive, or say no to sex. Trans rights groups hailed the decision as an important affirmation of their central thesis.

by Cody Balmer, suspect in arson attack on residence of Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro Harrisburg, May 7 - The scenario played out much better in my head than in real life, I must admit: I thought that burning down the governor's mansion - regardless of whether he or his family survived - would call attention to the desperation of the Palestinian people. Instead, it called attention to my attempt to burn down the governor's mansion. This fits into a broader pattern of violence and harassment on behalf of Palestine that seems not to, for some yet-unknown reason, free Palestine. I can't believe behaving like total schmucks hasn't attracted more support for Palestine.