Hello, everyone.
I welcome you to my blog. Growing up in an African setting sometimes feels like we all grow up following a certain pattern, and whoever tries to go contrary to this set pattern is considered disrespectful and sometimes even a failure, and somehow they find a way to pass their judgement and try to punish you in their own ways just to get you back on course. People start to treat you wrongly; they start to throw indirect shades and talks at you, but all that will only get to you if you let it.
There are so many societal expectations from every individual; some of these expectations end up putting us under a lot of pressure if we give them room, which is why sometimes it is necessary to break out and not follow the pattern the society expects of you.
For those who do not know, social expectations can be seen as rules, norms, and standards that the society imposes on every individual. These societal expectations can vary from one region to another, but in an African setting, they are almost the same everywhere. Some of these societal expectations are in favor of the individuals, while some are not and will only affect them negatively, especially if they fail to meet up with the standards that the society has set. Failing to meet up to the standard that the society has set can cause one a lot of trouble because the society will try to bend you and make sure you stay in line.
Some of these societal expectations sometimes feel like a race and come with a deadline you must meet. Once that deadline draws closer, the pressure increases, and once it goes beyond the deadline, they start to judge you and make you wish you did things differently. But many people have been able to follow their own path and not give in to what society wants or expects from them; they are doing things at their pace and not at the pace society has set.
I have also grown to unlearn some of these societal expectations because I feel the pressure it will cause me when the deadline draws close and I am not able to meet up is not something my mental health can take. In every African setting, once you get to a certain age, you are expected to get married and start up your own family, and once you go beyond that age, the society starts to ask questions and wants you to do as expected, and for that reason, many have rushed into marriage unprepared. Funny how they rushed in and rushed out now while some are still struggling to find their feet while trying to keep the marriage from crashing down.
I don't think anyone can or will rush me into getting married when I don't feel like I am prepared to do so. Society will not help you finance your marriage, nor will they come to your aid after marriage, so why let them decide when you get married or how you do it? The whole early marriage thing is one societal norm and expectation I am definitely going to break unless I feel prepared to take that step.
