What in the name of the wee man is going on here?
The good lady stood at the open door of the lounge with a look of horror and disgust on her face, one hand on her hip and the other holding the little boom. Beside her was the little lady looking confused.
I hadn't heard them come in because the music had been playing quite loudly. She had popped out to meet her friend for a coffee and had taken the kids. She had said she would be gone for a couple of hours.
She had arrived back early.
Whilst she was gone I had attacked the small number of chores she had demanded in return for my me time.
Once they were done I was free to do as I pleased.
Which I did with gusto. First up was a right good hand workout on the guitar. Once that was done I asked Alexa our Amazon Echo device to start blasting out some loud music.
I had a faff about with Steemit and was just having a bit of chill. All in all, it was a fine afternoon.
At the point she came in I was walking back from the kitchen with a coffee and couldn't help but swing my hips in a little dance to the music.
I looked up guiltily at her voice.
Oh! Erm, I was just erm... Chilling?
The good lady took a step in to the room, distaste written large on her face.
Alexa! Stop.
She barked.
The music stopped. She placed a hand on the little lady's head.
Go upstairs little one, now.
The little lady danced away to her room leaving me alone with the good lady.
What the hell is going on, Daddy? I come home to find you blasting out Barry Manilow? The Copa Cabana? The man I married likes Heavy Metal??! Thrash and Gangsta Rap and I come home to this?
I know, I know. I can explain. It's well, you know. I was all alone and erm well. You know?...
And were you... dancing to it? Is this what you do when I leave the house?
I looked shamefaced and scuffed the floor with my foot.
I don't always do it. It's just, I don't know. I just felt this urge and then one thing led to another and before I knew it I couldn't stop...
The good lady shook her head as if trying to dislodge some bacon.
Barry Manilow? I mean, what's next... Neil Diamond?
She turned on her heel and stomped upstairs to join the little lady.
I waited till she was gone and lifted up my phone, swiping into the Alexa app. I scrolled down the music history, ah there it was Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
I hit delete.