It's the time of the year when expenses hit like no other. It reminds me of the ordeal I had last year when I was just barely a month into my job and got my first pay. Although I am not one to show off, I cared too much about solving all pressing financial needs which at the end of the day, put me in disarray. I sent money over to my parents and siblings while leaving little for myself to manage. I forgot that January was coming and I would need to live through it. The only thing I did for myself was stalking my apartment with foodstuffs which ended up helping me a great deal. When the whole Christmas celebration was over, the new year came and then it was work. After a week, it felt like I was living three extra months in January because I became so broke out of carelessness.

How has the mighty fallen, I sat on the floor in my room groaning from the pain I was feeling on the inside, it was the first time I felt such a pain. This pain was not just hurt, it felt like betrayal and robbery. I felt like screaming and crying, but the tears weren't just coming, I felt like whaling, but somehow I was bottling it all up. I wouldn't have gone this far if I knew this was how it would end, after all the efforts I put in, I had finally gotten what I wanted only to be stripped of the experience from someone I could never imagine. This was supposingly every parent's dream and I'm not sure I would ever forgive her for this, I thought to myself while sitting on the floor looking up to the sky directly from the window in my room. Soon I heard footsteps which was my cue to quickly jump into my bed and pretend I was sleeping. I didn't see who it was that came in, but felt someone turn on the light and proceeded to adjust my blanket.

Christmas is in two days, and if I must admit, it doesn't feel like Christmas to me. Maybe it's because I feel I just need a break and turns out Christmas is the only break I would be having. I went to work today, truly anticipating a break because for the last couple of days, I've been feeling rather exhausted to my bones. So much so that even when I'm at work, working is tiring and I just end up feeling sleepy. And even in times when I have pressing matters to attend to, I just find myself feeling unmotivated to do anything. I see a lot of people preparing so much for Christmas, especially in this part of the world where Christmas is not complete without chicken, goat meat, or a full ram/cow.

I decided to try a no strategy approach and like I expected it backfired. Although I am not surprised, I did so because I was having very few cards for the battle having not been able to rent cards for personal reasons. However even with a loss, I got to learn a thing or two from my opponents strategy. I wondered if I would have won if I had the cards I needed, I even argued within myself that I would have won outright, but then like I have always said, whether I win or lose would not only depend on my high cards alone, but also on my strategies which consist of speed, and health. One major disadvantage I had in this battle was the fact that all my cards had very low health. I consider health from 7 downwards as low, and none of my cards had up to that.

There are a long list of things we all wish we could try at least once in our lifetime. For me, it is skydiving. This is because I want to experience a near feeling of death. Of course I don't want to die now, and I have had some near death experiences, but they were unplanned for and thus weren't fun at all. I'm very adventurous and wild, I like to take risks although calculated, I love the feeling of knowing something is on the line and thus I need to keep going. Please don't find me weird, I've just always been like that. I remember breaking my phone screen one time I was trying out a wrestling move, thank goodness it was just the screen that broke and no important household equipment unless I would have been in hot soup 😂.

I’m very lazy with house chores, except when I’m doing it in a very comfortable atmosphere assisting someone. Alongside this I have a very bad habit of valuing my privacy and enjoying my space, that is why I don’t really fancy friends coming around to a good extent. Not because I don’t want them to come, but because sooner or later I would want to be alone and they will be getting in the way. Sometimes in order not to make it look odd, I will make them feel comfortable and pretend to go out only for me to just take a stroll in order for me to have my alone time. Although this works for me, the need to be alone at home is still there. I don’t like being alone always, but there are times I like to reflect for at least 2 hours a day.