Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of humour and rambling I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul and ideaAnd I was 'round when @amirtheawesome1 the clown Had his moment of doubt and pain Made damn sure that @blanchy Washed his hands and posted his date

How do I remove the notifications?I mean I click the thing and I read the notification but the number never goes down. It only goes up. It's like that one time I swallowed a pill and after 4 hours had to call a doctor to help me deflate the kiddy pool. Don't worry it sucked as a lure anyway, I went back to my white van after that. I dunno what it is but the cliches really do seem to work better.

I spent $3. I forget on what, but I know I left with a smile on my face and a hole large enough for a gofer. That's gofer, not a golfer or a Topher (which is totally a made up name... hehehehe Topher the gofer).It was a long 3 hours, now you might be thinking $3 for 3 hours is great deal (or you might be not thinking anything seeing as your name is Topher and I just blew your mind about it being a made up name and now all you think about is how your parents lied to you for 15 years about Santa Claus), but you see it entirely depends on what you paid for an if you actually like it. I'll give you an example

"Allen!"Went out the call. Steve from the engineering bellowed the now infamous secret code word for contact with new life forms. You see it all started as a joke being played on one of the new crew men as part of a hazing ritual. After the crewman had been appropriately humiliated by being stripped and tied up in the cargo hold for three days with nothing more than the company of a wooden horse named Philly which had an anatomically correct flesh light attached, he had been pulled out of the cargo area mid stroke and the remaining crew had made fun of him for his absurdly large penis that would be completely unpractical when to came to human/zorb relations. Following this fiasco, the crew then settled down and spoke to Jim (this was the name of the crewman who was in the hold for 3 days, and not the name of the security guard who was caught playing a violin in the toilet to "help him relax"), and Jim admitted to having rechristened Philly, Allen, even going so far as to specify that it was Allen with an "e" and not Allan with an "a", he then followed up with some sort of a racist rant and how a and e were just 180 rotations of the same letter and that it was all a conspiracy by the chicken industry to get people to eat more eggs and fewer apples.

Dear Morning People,Please stop ruining my morning. I have a right to be a miserable fuck and also be unhappy on a Monday on my way to work.Sincerely,Non Morning People

I'm always amazed at what can be accomplished on a day off. Well in my case it was a sick day rather than a day off, 80% of the Alliances features were written on a sick day. There's a couple more things I still want to do but I'd like to release it for some decent testing before building more.