Sometimes it amazes me that I've ever only had one panic attack ever, like 8 years ago now and I've never had one since. I don't even know what triggered that first one, but it was awful. Felt like an immovable 50 pound rock was sitting directly in the center of my chest that I couldn't move. I simply had this overwhelming certainty that death was imminent. Could not breathe correctly or walk correctly. I suppose that it was a panic attack, it lasted like 10 minutes and I always assumed it was that. I wonder if I ever really recovered from that or why it happened or well, anything about it. It's a fairly unique moment in my life that I really don't have an explanation for. I would have guessed that I'd have more but, nope, just that singular attack. I wonder if instead of like, a condensed moment of sheer panic, my body has sort of transformed my panic attack into like, hours long fits of borderline panic and overthinking. Just frozen.
