Dear Amanda... I found this heart shape rock on my adventure the other day and it reminded me of you! <3
It's one of the biggest ones I've ever found! I was pretty excited. :)
I've been thinking about you quite a bit, that's something that never really changes.
There's always a nice place for you in my mind and heart.
This is the day you left... I think it was 13 years ago now?! Wow, time just keeps moving. I felt like you were here just yesterday and before that I was a kid not too long ago as well...
I try to be grateful for so much, and things have been going so good in my life lately... Yet, the thought often pops into my mind that I wish you were still here and that you had more time to follow your dreams and just live life.
It feels like such a cosmic injustice, and... Not just you, but all of the people and animals who leave this plane early before their "natural" time so to speak... It makes me much more open to things like the idea of reincarnation or that this existence is sort of an illusion and I'll get to see you again someday when I leave here.
I'm doing my best to continue living and loving and making the most of the time I have left, I "wasted" a lot cause I was sad... Yet, I know you would want me to live and be happy so I'm doing that now and I'm going to keep doing it!
Speaking of that... Even though I've been adventuring for like 5 years now or so I really finally kinda feel like I'm becoming a sort of "Indian Jones" type of person. Heh.
Went from having almost nothing to having a table full of tools and just recently added quite a few more!
I just keep stumbling onto really unique and interesting things and lost or hidden stories and it feels like I'm living in a book or a movie, it's wild...
One of the best things lately is that I've learned to become grateful for the negative intrusive thoughts and thank them for whatever they are trying to show me even if I don't understand and my peace of mind has improved immensely!
I have WAY less intrusive thoughts these days and when they happen they aren't as intense, I think it may only be a matter of time until I heal the OCD compulsions as well. I'm going to try really hard!!! And, I'm making progress that I didn't think was possible years ago... It's truly amazing.
There's so much to learn and so much is happening so fast, it's an exciting time, though I'm trying to remember to be present and enjoy the simple things. :)
All that being said, sending so much love to you always and... Bye until next time!! <3
PS... I have a few of the biggest adventures of my life coming up soon, wish me luck!
