Dear Amanda... Happy Birthday! Sorry I'm a lil late with my letter, this is only the third time I think that I've been late? Either way, I've been pretty good about it over the years and I don't even like thinking about how long it's been... I can't believe it's been over 10 years... I think it's been like... Close to 13 years now? Breaks my heart that you didn't have more time.
It still bothers me on a regular basis, but as you know from my previous letters and as I'm sure you just know in a spiritual sort of sense that I've been doing a lot better these days and am no longer depressed. I'm happy to be alive again and not just happy, but grateful and I think that gratefulness is actually what leads to the happiness. I wish I would have learned that sooner, but as I often say better late than never.
I've really been focusing on myself and my family a lot lately, especially trying to heal and get my life in better order... It's an uphill battle after being unable to function very well for so many years, though... I'm pretty passionate and I think that self love is what carries me the most.
These recent adventures have been incredible, yet... I was already learning to love myself before that all started... So, I think I would have been fine even if this stuff didn't happen, but... It definitely helps to make me even more grateful and happier! And, I've been working on that a lot so I'm getting kind of good at these sorts of things. :)
When I lay down to rest at night I still feel very at peace with my eventual mortality or lack of such so to speak, even though I want to live a lot I know it will happen when it happens and I just wanna be happy for the good things that have happened and everything onwards is a bonus until I meet you and everyone else again in the next realm, which I believe is linked to plasma! That's a whole story though I'll probably save that for another time as I'm still learning about it.
It's fascinating though, more than ever I do believe we are spiritual beings who are temporarily coming into these physical bodies and that death isn't as permanent as it may seem... I'm sure you know that and that you knew that back then, I remember you talking about some of these kinds of things and I'm sure you learned a lot about what you were dealing with and facing.
I feel like we're all there in the holographic universal mind of "God" or "Source" or whatever it is... The "Unconditional Love" sort of frequency or vibration, and it may seem tragic when we don't understand what's happening, but if we trust that there is more after this life and that we are all connected it doesn't hurt as much as it used to.
I'm making some good progress healing and am both a bit surprised and so thankful I've been working so hard at this because my life has changed quite significantly for the better and it feels like I'm finally sort of "growing up" so to speak.
There's a LOT coming up in the near future and a LOT that's been a bit challenging already... Courage and persistence are some key words for me right now...
I feel like I've received spiritual assistance from you and others and I hope there's more of that to come in the future because I think things are going to be getting pretty crazy in my life in the not too distant future... I try not to worry too much, I'm thankful to even be here right now... I came so close to checking out.
Anyways... I always hope you're doing as good as possible where ever you are and I miss you and I look forward to seeing you again when I'm done on this plane... Tons of love forever. <3
