She's not mine anymore.
Was she ever mine anyway?
I hate this, I really hate how I feel rightnow, I hate how stupid I turned out to be, I hate how stupid you turned to be, I hate how I can't talk to you about anything anymore, I hate how whenever I think of this clusterfuck all I wanna do is cry, I hate that I let you push me this far and then you left me, I hate that I don't deserve this, I hate how I always knew this was coming, but I hate that I wished it wouldn't be on your hands, even more. I hate how they don't understand, I hate how when I think about who to turn to in such a situation you're the first one that pops into my mind, I hate that I hate how pathetic I am because of you, I hate how I look at myself now, I hate what they might say, but worst of all is that I still can't hate you enough to walk away, it's just too hard, harder than staying and hating myself for it.
You're not mine you never were and never will be
As much as I want to believe this, there's always a spark of hope inside me that keeps pulling me back to you everytime I take a step away from you, from all of this. I don't know what to do, I don't know how I should act, I don't know if I should even act, I don't know anything, scratch that, I know one thing, we're meant to be exactly where we are now and even If that's not good enough for me -right now- I've come to terms that I will eventually make peace with it and when that happens I hope you're still around to witness it.