americancarnage

Melania's Jacket: Where was Jeeves????????

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Stepping Its Game Up: American Carnage Announces Plans To Become A "360 Multiplatform Vertically Integrated Global Media Brand"

Coming on the heels of a very successful week on Steemit, American Carnage, the social media platform's most successful comedy blog has announced plans to trans...

Comedy Open Mic Round #17 Netflix Plans To Release 435 Original Snuff Films This Year

Netflix and chill? More like Netflix and kill! Today Netflix CEO Reed Hastings announced that everyone's favorite online streaming service will release 435 orig...

Comedy Open Mic #17 Nomination

Nomination: I hereby nominate @themadgoat And @bleedpoet To enter the contest...

Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest - Round 17

Welcome to the 17th week of The Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest. Please read the contest rules here Credit goes to @dandesign86 for creating this logo for us Rul...

Comedy Open Mic Round # 17: Why Buying An Exotic Animal Will NOT Save Your Marriage: The Saga Continues

(I nominate @themadgoat and @bleedpoet) Chapter 1 When I married my first wife I thought I was the luckiest man in the world. "You two look so good together," t...

DON'T DO IT! Why Buying An Exotic Animal Will Not Save Your Marriage Part 3

Although our marriage was on the rocks, we decided to try to make it work. We broke down and hired a live-in lizard wrangler. "G'arvo mate. I ga' a call say der...

Netflix Plans To Release 435 Original Snuff Films This Year

Netflix and chill? More like Netflix and kill! Today Netflix CEO Reed Hastings announced that everyone's favorite online streaming service will release 435 orig...

PART TWO DON'T DO IT! Why Buying An Exotic Animal Will Not Save Your Marriage

At first things seemed all hunky dory when we took home this little bundle of joy. I asked my wife what we should call him. "Well I always dreamed of having a s...

DON'T DO IT!: Why Buying An Exotic Animal Will Not Save Your Marriage

When I married my first wife I thought I was the luckiest man in the world. "You two look so good together," they would always say. It was a wedding like no oth...

Tips For International Travel

Remember to tip the TSA agent After your full body cavity search Get inspired: make sure to write a hilarious stand up comedy routine about the inadequacy of ai...

Body Positivity FTW! Victoria's Secret Casts Hairy, Overweight Male Lingerie Model With Ulcer Who Wretches Uncontrollably On Everyone He Meets!

Elizabeth, NJ In a big win for the Body Acceptance Movement, Victoria's Secret announced today that they will cast Harry Kowalski, a dock worker and part time l...

Ew! Gross! These Disgusting Photos of Elderly Couples Will Show You That Love is Possible At Any Age

It's springtime and love is in the air, but it's not only the young who are having their fair share of hanky panky. These photos of elderly couples prove that l...

Smithsonian To Unveil New Exhibit Featuring FDR's Jetpack Chair

The Smithsonian Air and Space Museum announced today that an exhibit featuring President Franklin Delano Roosevelt's famous jet pack chair will open later this ...

Awesome! Natalie Portman Swallows 10 Million Spider Eggs in the Hope this will Somehow Land her Another Role

I think we can all agree that Natalie Portman is basically perfect. A more beautiful star has never before graced the silver screen. Whether you've seen her "Cl...

Health Nuts Take Note: The FDA Now Recommends People Think about 5-7 clams a day

In a big win for proponents of shellfish ideation based diets, the Food and Drug Administration announced today that the mere act of thinking about 5 to 7 clams...

We asked 938 Moms to Describe their Mother's Day in One Word and the Only Word they Could Think of was "Crummy"

Once a year in the United States we choose to honor the women who give us life and are there for us through thick and thin. Yet, when it comes to American moms,...

Supreme Court to Rule on Whether Justices Will be Allowed to "Go Commando" Under Robes

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A New Craze is Taking off Among Seniors: Parkour

On a rooftop in downtown Portland, Maine a local daredevil ties his shoes. Pausing for a moment after cracking his knuckles, a laconic Wendell Wilson mutters to...

Who Wore it Better?

Photos from the Met Gala...